I am a student at Ōtaki College in Ōtaki, NZ. My blog is a place where I will be able to share some of my learning. Please note....some work won't be edited - they are just my first drafts, so there may be some errors. I would love your feedback, comments, thoughts and ideas on my posts.
Kia Ora Louis, this is Shannon from the Summer Learning Journey.
You’ve done a wonderful job formulating some amazing similes. They’re all coherent and paint a great picture in your reader’s head so well done!
In particular my favourite one is the elephant as big as a bus. Elephants are one of my favourite animals because they’re so interesting. They can live for 70 years and are herbivores. That means they don’t eat meat, only plants, grass, and fruit.
Quick tip: perhaps you could add some visuals of the similes you have created into your post to compliment your work. You could add an ugly portrait or a very short man.
I see you’ve edited your post and added some images. You’ve done an incredible job!
I like how you’ve incorporated the equal sign between the two pictures to convey your text in a diagram. It’s very clever. I also really like your colour choice as well as the formatting of your slides. The text is big and clear to read, and the pictures are nicely sized. Well done.
Thank you for your positive, thoughtful, helpful comments. Positive - something done well Thoughtful - a sentence to let us know you actually read/watched or listened to what they had to say Helpful - give some ideas for next time or ask a question you want to know more about
Kia Ora Louis, this is Shannon from the Summer Learning Journey.
ReplyDeleteYou’ve done a wonderful job formulating some amazing similes. They’re all coherent and paint a great picture in your reader’s head so well done!
In particular my favourite one is the elephant as big as a bus. Elephants are one of my favourite animals because they’re so interesting. They can live for 70 years and are herbivores. That means they don’t eat meat, only plants, grass, and fruit.
Quick tip: perhaps you could add some visuals of the similes you have created into your post to compliment your work. You could add an ugly portrait or a very short man.
Happy blogging.
Hei konā mai,
Shannon
Hi i'm Louis from Otaki college.
DeleteThank you for your comment.
Also thanks for the advice.
Hi Louis,
DeleteI see you’ve edited your post and added some images. You’ve done an incredible job!
I like how you’ve incorporated the equal sign between the two pictures to convey your text in a diagram. It’s very clever. I also really like your colour choice as well as the formatting of your slides. The text is big and clear to read, and the pictures are nicely sized. Well done.
Hei konā mai,
Shannon